Worst Landlord in SF – how do you deal with this?

So… I have rented a badass view with a badass location for 4 years. The apartment itself is also badass… plenty of light, etc etc. We keep it clean… it’s amazingly beautiful of a place – Pacific Ocean to Coit tower with views of the Headlands, park, bridge, etc. The landlord is a harmless guy, but that’s moot as he lacks respect or professionalism or something. He is odd, because he focuses on making sure the gate is locked, or we put the right rcycling into the blue bin….. but the real issues are never addressed. Coming into our apartment, you would never ever realize what I am about to say; These are the past and current issues:

REPAIRS:

*My door lock doesn’t work and hasn’t been fixed in 2 years.  He told me that I am “likely using it wrong”

*The fire alarms haven’t worked for 3 years. “I’ll check it out”. This is both the hallway, and my apartment. He has seen them with his own eyes… but nothing ever became of it.

*The carbon monoxide sensor makes a loud eletrical popping and ark when I turn on the bathroom light. Reported over a couple years ago.   “I will get to it”. He has heard the popping sound.

*The garbage disposal went on the fritz once (was fixed) his comment: “you should start composting”. This is benign and not that big a deal. But says a lot about how he operates.

*There are endless paint cans, thinners, chemicals sitting in the garage… along with piles of lumber and cardboard blocking a water heater that was next to the chemicals until I basically forced him to help me and a neighbor to move them out of the combustible area… now they just sit. The area has been cleaned up, relatively.

*There has been a leak for almost a year inside the laundry room and garage. It looks like it may have been fixed in the last month or two, but the damage has not been dealt with, I assume.

*The garage/house isn’t seismic, at least I don’t think so. I asked him about seismic… “there’s nothing I can do.. during the big one try to run out the back stairs because the house is going to flop to the left hahahaha” I live on the 3rd floor and can feel the buses roll through.  I don’t think he is kidding.

*The front area, hallway, and staircase are littered, disgusting, and covered in hair and decaying wallpaper covered in mold. He keeps saying he will vacuum and maybe rewallpaper.. but it never happens. I just cleaned 20 years of cobwebs and had to throw away a broom.

That’s not all of it!

*Racoons in the ceiling that got trapped and died – that’s what finally forced my other neighbors out after 5 years.

*Pigeons built a nest under my porch

*Skunks – not that big a deal, to me… whatever

*Bird Lice – everywhere. do not look it up, it’s foul. you can’t see them up close, but you can see the whole wall moving

*Mice – last year I killed 33 mice.  This is not easy, because Disney made them cute until they are pissing and shitting everywhere.

*Fleas – I have a dog covered in kill em toxic pesticide stuff… but they were everywhere for three months this year. Worst thing I have ever seen.  I had never had fleas on my pup ever… but even covered in chemical goo and irritating his skin and ours… they kept biting. ED NOTE 21st Sept 2010: I have, for 3 weeks, been carrying my dog up and down our steps…. it is precisely this action that stopped the fleas.  IE – THEY ARE IN THE HOUSE, in the place he keeps saying he will clean.

*Fly infestation – I assume they are from decaying poisoned mice in the walls and find their way in… but I have killed about 2 dozen in the last week, and let about 30 fly free from my windows.  This has been the first couple weeks of September, 2010.

*The mice are back (as of 12 Sept 2010), and I just spent the afternoon handling poison and using tinfoil and duct tape to cover the holes in the wall for the gas range.. where they come in.  Last time I found at least 10 entry points.  Now I will have to wait and see. I can hear them scratching and biting throughout the walls. I can barely sleep in this wild eyed panic and paranoia.

FINALLY… I AM REACTING

Why did this take me so long? I am a sensible, pragmatic guy… I am also kind, and understanding.  Each one off scenario seemed like a problem… but I never chose to mentally arrange them into what they were… indication of a slumlord.

As you will see…. I have pics of the dirty hallway, the garage chemicals, mouse droppings behind my stove, mold on the wallpaper, vet bills for my pet, old emails I sent him… I have everthing.  I am too tired to go through all the emails right now, but if you beg me I will update this post with them.  The final straw is that the mice are back, and every time I beseech his professional help as my landlord, he makes light of it, acts blase and resigned, or simply blames me… outright.  BLAMES *ME*.  He has never *once* taken real accountability for anything, and even when he has (pigeon bird lice infestation), he hemmed, hawed, and I basically had to beg and cry in his face.  I don’t know if it’s lack of professionalism, laziness, being controlled by someone else…. or he’s just a lazy man.

I am the tenant. This is his home. I am sick of it.

THE COMPLEXITY?

*BUT* – the real issue and complexity at hand.  This isn’t about me.  We are trying to get out of here.  It’s really about the next people, and whether I remain silent so other’s get screwed.

http://www.sftu.org/repairs.html

Do I just start there?

How do we go about this? I can’t go to my landlord, he never does anything. I can’t just go to the tenant’s union, because I don’t want to start a battle. I almost thought of writing this, then sending it to him. We have been trying to move or buy a house for over a year…. Rent is so cheap that anything comprable is 50% more, or the same price. We are also looking at houses, but both have been a complete dead-end. For over a year.

I don’t know where to go, and if I do call an inspector he could kick us all out and the house might not be habitable? At least, this landlord has violated more rules than I ever knew existed.

What to do?

Help?

VIDEO OF AWFULNESS

Here.. come with me and listen to the mice in the walls! It’s a breathtaking journey! EDIT 22 SEPT 2010 – A friend who worked in pest control made a clear case – “Just because you have seen mice, and mice can actually get into your kitchen and home from the wall openings doesn’t mean the thing in the video is a mouse.  That’s huge.. it’s not even a rat. It’s a mammal, it has mandibles or jaws or something… but that thing is big.”

Gallery of the Love – Below

(don’t miss his stunning Victorian home in perfect order and repair! I can see it from my decaying hovel):

The order may be off, because I am too grossed out to look at all the pics too closely.