I wrote this drunkenly… which I am apt to do down here. I am not editing the story for content, nor do I give a damn it’s not very well written. Think of it as a real life comic book adventure. What I take with me is 1) I will not go sailing with the tourist boat guys that let this become unmoored. 2) Bottle deposits in Mexico are a REALLY, REALLY big deal, and 3) the Energizer Hard Case Tactical flashlight with blue LED (for nightvision), red LED for signaling, and infrared for, apparently, being a ninja…. is the single greatest flashlight I could have ever hoped to own ever… and will by buying a couple more the next time it’s on woot.
Here we go:
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I have been saving the good poetry for later, and a couple short stories won’t alter that. I will post here when I get it up. It sounds sort of serious and stuff, I guess, cause it sorta is. This has nothing to do with anything, but it is why I disappeared, and this is as good a place as any. Good story at least, I guess?
Basically, since I have been in Sayulita it has been about 95 at night with full humidity. No sleep. Lauren sort of does it, and I sort of sit here and watch her jealously, as I said.
Every night we have a thunderstorm that is bigger than anything I have ever seen. Currently I am uploading a video and will share it soon.
Last night, however, was the single largest storm I have ever come across….. The downpour was torrential… we got about 10 inches in a couple hours. All of this sounds vaguely sexual I know.
The wind speeds got to the point of a squall, and a poorly anchored 33′ Erickson tourist sailboat lost it’s mooring, and started to founder. I am a dork for a storm like this, and was shooting endless video of it, not expecting to see the sailboat that was half mile off shore about 20 feet from the rocks 15 minutes later.
Being Sayulita, I was drinking tequila. Have been for 7 days… so I am holding it well. Also being Sayulita, there isn’t so much a coast guard as barrachos with skiffs. I have fished my whole life, know my way around boats and water, and have spent 1000’s of hours on Whalers, open air boats, motor boats (haha… always funny). The sailboat was basically on it’s side in the sand, and I think the captain had the presence of mind to have steered his out of control boat to the sandier part of the beach on the north end.
So it the heaviest downpour I have ever seen in my life, with lightning and thunder cracking DIRECTLY over my head, I heat it….. that air horn. Actually there were a couple different ones, but it is basically that stupid air horn that is loud as shit with compressed air. It is usually used by annoying and overzealous high school football mascots, but for sea faring types it is a very scary, very sad sound. It’s big trouble. As mi amigo Octavio suggested in the only English he knew how, “Game Over”.
So I hear it, know there isn’t a coast guard, and knew that only a few people would be out there.
33′ boat, about 5 feet of water, and by the time I get down there there are already 2 skiffs (think a 17′ Boston Whaler but really, really messed up and likely a bit longer… the outboard motor couldn’t have been more than 75-125cc).
What is REALLY crazy is this:
1) There are four cabrones *IN* the water. There is lightning and thunder one on top of the other… this is where you see the lightning, and count “one-one thousand, two-one thousand”. There was no time for the “O” in one. These guys are in the water, hanging onto…..
……… the damned buoy robes on the bow. The boat is totally listing at this point, and I can’t tell if it has sustained damage or just taken on water. From the look of it, and how far it was foundered, I assumed there was a hole in the side and the thing was out for the count. So these guys are literally hanging on with bare hands in a fierce downpour with electricity everywhere, getting crushed between the hull and the waves as it crashed down on top of them. I wasn’t about to go into the water without a plan, but I knew I could be there for CPR and first aid, all of which I know, need renewed, and totally hate that something like this was a reminder.
The two skiffs are working back and forth to interlace ropes so that they can possibly tug this thing back out to sea, in the damn storm. These are open boats… so I think only 2 were remaining because one of the skiffs that was moored nearer the coast and closer to the boat was sinking? Not sure. But only two boats were out there, and the first job they took care of was spinning the boat around so the hull wasn’t slamming into the sand.
2) All the while, a really, REALLY drunk guy starts tugging his waterlogged pontoon boat with a 75 cc engine from the surfline, and these two younger guys are popping open beers, half laughing with worry, half confused what to do. One of them has a waterproof bag with a cell phone pumping tinny Snoop Dogg from it. He is holding it up like a prize fish by the tail, spastically dancing throwing air gang signs yelling “Heep Hopp!” I didn’t know what to do or really what I was waiting for, but in all there were about 4 guys in boats on the water, and 3 or 4 loco guys SWIMMING next to this sailboat that was becoming rapidly more problematic. I just wanted to be there in case someone could help. I ended up not wasting my time hoping tho… so that’s good. But these 3 guys were crazy.
Basically…. the pontoon got into the water and sank because dude had taken so long to drag it into the surf by the time he actually got it there it was completely filled with rain. Again… I have seen storms in Cayman Islands, Oregon, etc…. heavy rains, but never anything like this. Pitch black to the lit up daylight where you hoped and waited for the lightning to subside simply because it was so terrifying to see the situation these guys were in.
So… grabbed a chum bucket and started bailing… daintily standing in water consciously trying to move out of it at all costs. Lightning was striking further out, but the storm all around us kept getting closer…..
I am not sure how long this has been since I was at our house and heard the distress, but I think it’s been an hour. I was soaked through in 30 seconds, but after an hour it was just like I was liquid. It was incredibly warm tho, and I never got the shivers, etc. I know I was bailing for at least 20 minutes. that sucks. I have been in a sinking boat, and I didn’t have to bail that fast.
(Bilge pumps ROCK… everyone should have a couple)
So we bail this drunken fisherman into buouyancy, and I look up as he starts to putter out and he has a cigarette lit for at least 15 seconds until it disappears into the flood. I was baffled how a) he got it lit, and b) when he did it. I remember being pissed because it meant he wasn’t bailing.
The other skiff boats had criss crossed the line enough and started weaving back and forth to spin the sailboat around fast enough so that it wasn’t parralel with the shore for more than a minute. I was really impressed…. this thing was obviously listing to the starboard side, and they had the presence of mind to rig it to swing to the port and be point out. So far, no one was hurt, everyone still working fairly calmly, and in unison.
I knew there was no where near enough power of those two little skiffs.. whatever their Yamaha or Honda engine…. an Ericson (I think I spelled that wrong earlier.. maybe this time too???) at 33′ is at least 4 or 5 tons of displacement. Like 10K lbs? Something like that…. now filling with water, I cannot imagine. I thought it was a goner, but I also thought they had let it drift into rocks. The captain that anchored it, likely, is different that the captain that new how to handle an emergency….. because he got that thing into as soft as sand as possible.
Whatever the case, the skiffs were weaving back and forth, finally with the hull pointed out to see and perpendicular to the shore. It wasn’t going anywhere, but what was going somewhere was this little drunk in the pontoon. He basically got 10 feet out into the water, through a huge rope to the guys in the water who quickly tied it up to something… not sure what all, but it wasn’t just the railing because when that popped off the rope was still attached to the body of the boat.
And here I will stop, breathe, take a break, and remind myself SF BDSM has nothing on a proper sailor knot.
That being said, the little dude in the pontoon seemed to know the captain of the sailboat was going to fire up his dual outboard…. which struck me as insane (but when you have zero options you settle for the worst and hope for the best, right?), because he couldn’t be in more than 5 or 6 feet of water at this point, and those rotors extended at least a couple feet below the boat. Whatever the case, that little pontoon dude ran his boat back aground, and handed me and my new friends of the moment Octavio and Edgar the rope, while he simply played tug of war with this wiley, bucking boat…. I didn’t really get it until I saw the rotors coming out of the water, completely useless. These 3 guys on the shore with me meant to hold a single piece of rope that was 40 feet out into the ocean tied on the back of an out of control sailboat and steady something that weighs about 9500 lbs without water in it. Super sweet guys… real bad idea. But there I was, trying to hold a rope with all my might…..
sort of panicked and waiting. It seemed like the panic and insanity was subsiding, albeit the storm had not let up at all. All I know is that the four guys in the water, came over to help, and it made all the difference in the world. Honestly I think the pontoon owner had rigged it around a tree or something, but I really hadn’t any idea at this point. I was exhausted from bailing, and just sort of stupified.
Whatever the case, that sailboat owner was DESTROYING – SIMPLY TEARING APART his engine at full throttle as it would bob up and down…. but the two boats in front with full throttle, coupled with the captain’s choice to destroy his outboards rather than entire vessel….. the rope steadied it. The stern seemed to pitch enough that the rotors hit the water for at least a minute, and …. unlike the insane endless eternity of working towards the solution….. it just tore out of the bay away from the coast, with the two fishing skiffs doing their best to provide more torque.
That thing that was basically on it’s side in 4 ft of water and sand when he was sounding his distress was now at least 100 yards out into the bay within 2 minutes. I was confident it was singing, but Octavio was screaming “no game over no game over” and dancing around to what now sounded like Mexican rap, which was REALLY good sounding albeit in rain and through a bag…. I wished I had found out and if ANYONE knows any good Latin Hip hop I want it… let me know.
I sort of just collapsed, and was offered a beer by Edgar, as I steadied myself on the pontoon. I looked helpless, and probably pathetic for such a big guy. He just took the beer back, popped it open with his teeth, and started a 10 minute explanation how the cerveza wasn’t an issue, but he needed the damn bottle back for deposit. I had NO idea what he was talking about, but finally figured it out when he kept pointing to the “deposito” thing on the bottle, holding his empty beer upside down and pointing to the empty bottle and thrusting it back at him. I could hardly see. Not because of the rain, but because I think I was blacking out. The hill from our unit is about 300 steps, and I have never taken a staircase like that in my life. I ran back up to get a flashlight early on so that I could help these crazy guys in the water with some light for the rigging of the ropes, and I thought my heart would explode and people would find me dead in the middle of the jungle housing complex the next day. Needless to say, my new wife was not thrilled about this, got woken from a dead (exhausted from heat and margaritas… I previously mentioned how jealous I was she could sleep through stuff like that, while I was super duper giddy about actually seeing a good storm), and she certainly wasn’t in the mood to cogitate the complexity of me trying to help others when it really could have hurt me. Of course this was all running through my head as I almost died huffing and puffing trying to just be a decent human being… I was sort of raised to help when people need it… and WAY too many times have I seen people need help, ask for it, and everyone standing around or in earshot has this blase “well someone else will do it” attitude. So, I dedicate myself to not being that guy. I am really pretty cowardly in most situations, so it isn’t some noble thing…. it’s just you can’t let another human go without help. At the very least, and the real reason I went down and stayed down, I basically figured that those guys were going to be struck by lightning and someone would need to do CPR. The mast was tall and metal, I thought it would attract the lightning… so it was sort of eerie just to be waiting for that. I don’t think it was fiberglass, but hell the thing was all messed up… the backstay had snapped, and the clew seemed broken…. the thing was a tremendous disaster. I don’t get why someone would do this in a storm, but the captain or guy on board actually put up the front sail shroud thingy, even though boom vay and more was totally wrecked. I don’t know if he panicked and thought he could catch wind…. but that failed miserably.
Whatever the case, I just sat there, finishing my beer so I could give the bottle back to the guys, who at this point had made it abundantly clear you need all 6 to get the deposit back. I haven’t actually been to Mexico before, but hell that refund deposit thingy is a BIG deal… like… HUGE. No joke. Seriously.
All that said and done, I slogged my way up those 300 steps over a period of at least 10 minutes…. straight up. Everything was soaked through, and I was broken. By the time I had gotten back to the pad, I basically stripped down and fell on the bed soaking it with water and constant sweat. Lauren had a brief moment of “my macho man” until she realized I was near death. I couldn’t lift me head or arms or body at all. I am still sore, obviously, while typing this.
This morning, I wake up and there anchored in the bay is a severely starboard listing sailboat that looks like it needs a couple days of repair, new outboard and a bigger bilge.
I am sure I could end the story better, but the storm is really taking off tonight and I want so more video. I like lightning. It is like the world is breathing.
I will link the youtube video of at least a storm, and maybe a couple pics of the boat too! It’s funny the age of social media… because I really thought it would have been nice to have some footage of this potential disaster, but there is no way this camera would have survived, and it wasn’t really going through my head at the time.
Oh yeah… the boat was called “Make it So”, which is a Picard reference I think? Never watched much of that show, but it is funny to think about…. surely it was made so. The guy that anchored that thing needs to be taught a lesson.. in mooring.
That’s it. Night!
(ed note: the internet is a many varied thing. Even years later, I am just realizing I can embed the associated HD vids from Sayulita to add a wonderful dimension of discovery and psuedo choose your adventure in the mix feel…. so here ya go!)
You should be able to see the sailboat I am talking about, prior to this story:
A new life – margarita with thunder showers:
I PROMISE YOU: I am doing this to my car in the Marin Headlands and selling fish.
My wife… singing. Anyone that can take this video, correct the sound of the fan in the background, and repost it… I will pay you money. Not sure how much, but I will reward your skills.
MORE Thunder and Lightning
And more… not necessarily from hell.
it’s so beautiful!
Impromptu Henry Mancini for the kids
Scorpions are *NOT* slow creatures