I watch bunny ear rabbit TV. A network is doing a great job showing old horror films that deal with pandemics and social fears. All of a sudden Rabid is on, and I totally forgot about how much I loved early horror, and how big it was in developing my love of Cinema, especially because the stories are reflections of current social neuroses and fears as metaphors.
I had forgot about Marilyn Chambers, and then all of a sudden… 2001.
Marilyn Chambers was in town for a convention, and she definitely was probably 50? My bartender was both a porn star and a PGA member, so super weird… But they were friends and she was at the bar. A side note, my bartender had a bartender book that he got from a guy in Vegas that was not official printed, just some industry private thing, and it was about 2,000 pages, that included 22 – 30 derivations of B-52 bombers and every single type of drink based off of regional habits and norms. I’ve looked for that book for decades. Literally search for it once every couple weeks. It had about 10 different versions of every single drink.
Anyway, I had been getting crazy shift meals from our hotel restaurants, about $80 worth of sushi or korean food each night, I was in my first truly “bad” relationship and just unhappy. I think [two names redacted] can both probably corroborate this. Or some of it. Gaining weight. I’m at 225 post-pandemic, at 6’6″. At this time, I must have ballooned from 200 lbs in 1999 to 270 by 2002. I had never had to buy suits, so gaining weight quickly was awkward and I wasn’t paying attention to the tightening clothes.
I bent down to requisition and pick up some bottles behind the bar, and my pants split. My bartender laughed *so* loud, and I was a pleaser and a giver and thought it would be funny to be like “oh I guess I split my pants”, and sort of was like “oh look” all sassy and goofy. Downtown LA in the early 2000s was dead after biz, or a game at Staples, and Sundays were empty.
Marilyn Chambers *immediately*, deftly, and skillfully put her finger into my butt hole, through the pants, in a place at the time where I never wore underpants, and immediately had her fingernail in my asshole. The professional learned skills from any sort of repetitive behavior is amazing whether a machinist, a teacher, a librarian, or apparently porn star. I wonder what their carpal tunnel is like?
In an age before consent and an age before #MeToo, I would have never thought it being anything other than just an experience I had. We all laughed so hard for so long, and I am not sure if I laughed because they thought it was so funny, or we were all in it together. Or maybe that awkward laughter of playing off an intimate mistake. I was very naive and young at the time. She meant to be bawdy, but she did not mean to stick her finger inside of my butthole.
I fear I have forgotten so many stories that I should have already written down. 2001 was a weird year for the hotel industry, but I might say that this year of a pandemic IS REALLY far weirder.
I’m now thinking I need to write these stories down immediately because if that guy is still alive I could find that bartender book which would make me all the money in the world for reprinting. LOL