So a few friends and I randomly pass old Ebert reviews to one another. If this is not a hobby or pastime, you are missing out on cultural enlightenment to the nth degree.
Recently, Joe vs the Volcano:
“Gradually during the opening scenes of “Joe Versus the Volcano,” my heart began to quicken, until finally I realized a wondrous thing: I had not seen this movie before. Most movies, I have seen before. Most movies, you have seen before. Most movies are constructed out of bits and pieces of other movies, like little engines built from cinematic Erector sets. But not “Joe Versus the Volcano.” https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/joe-versus-the-volcano-1990
Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow:
“In its heedless energy and joy, it reminded me of how I felt the first time I saw “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It’s like a film that escaped from the imagination directly onto the screen, without having to pass through reality along the way.” https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/sky-captain-and-the-world-of-tomorrow-2004
Battlefield Earth:
“Battlefield Earth” is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way. The visuals are grubby and drab. The characters are unkempt and have rotten teeth. Breathing tubes hang from their noses like ropes of snot. The soundtrack sounds like the boom mike is being slammed against the inside of a 55-gallon drum. The plot. . . . But let me catch my breath. This movie is awful in so many different ways. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/battlefield-earth-2000
Valley of the Dolls:
* Ebert’s Note: “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls,” a movie for which I wrote the screenplay in 1969, has over the years become a cult film. Although it would not be appropriate for me to review it or give it a star rating, I offer the following observations written for Film Comment magazine on the occasion of the movie’s 10th anniversary in 1980. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/beyond-the-valley-of-the-dolls-1980
Class of 1984:
Movies like this either grab you, or they don’t. “Class of 1984” grabbed me. I saw it for the first time at the 1982 Cannes Film Festival, where I wandered into the theater expecting to find the dog of the week and wandered out two hours later, a little dazed and sort of overwhelmed. “Class of 1984” is not a great movie but it works with quiet, strong efficiency to achieve more or less what we expect from a movie with such a title. It is violent, funny, scary, contains boldly outlined characters, and gets us involved. It also has a lot of style. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/class-of-1984-1982
Swimming to Cambodia:
He recounts in great and gory detail all of his findings, from the infamous “banana show” in a local nightclub to the disappearance of millions of Cambodians in the greatest mass murder of modern history. He is a spellbinding storyteller, and as he speaks, something occurs that might be called the “radio phenomenon.” This is the same effect that was created in “My Dinner With Andre” (1981), another movie in which the characters simply sit and talk. Although we are essentially only seeing a face on a screen, we are picturing the story’s events in our minds; it’s like listening to a radio play. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/swimming-to-cambodia-1987
Dangerously Close:
What always amazes me about movies like “Dangerously Close” is that they don’t believe high school kids are young. The characters look and act like men in their 20s. The movie has a view of adolescence that is both stupid and irrelevant. Look at a movie like “Lucas,” which remembers what it was really like to be 13 or 14 or 15, and then go look at “Dangerously Close,” and you’ll think you stumbled into a reunion of Calvin Klein underwear models. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/dangerously-close-1986
And Wargames:
As a premise for a thriller, this is a masterstroke. The movie, however, could easily go wrong by bogging us down in impenetrable computerese, or by ignoring the technical details altogether and giving us a “Fail Safe” retread. “WarGames” makes neither mistake. It convinces us that it knows computers, and it makes its knowledge into an amazingly entertaining thriller. (Note I do not claim the movie is accurate about computers — only convincing.) https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/wargames-1983
In fact, he loved a little known film called “Massacre at Central High” from 1976, and he immediately knew it was an entire animal farm type of look at power dynamics…