Bear walks into a bar in Banff and says barkeep, “this bear here needs a beer in this bar in Banff”.
The barkeep looks at the bear, know that’s a thirsy bear that wants a beer and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve beers to bears in bars in Banf.”
The bear gets angry…. “THIS IS A THIRSTY BEAR here.. in this bar, here your bar, here in Banff. Give this bear a beer in this here bar and Banff will find all its bars in a fine state to keep serving beers, whether to bears or anyone else.”
The barkeep says, “I don’t like your attitude, bear. Even so, we don’t serve beers to bears in bars in Banff.”
The bear gets angrier, and roars. He spins around and grabs hold of the poor cocktail waitress who is white with fear, and shaking violently. The bear says, “Lady, I am a thirsty bear, who’s had a long day, and I want a beer, here, in this bar in Banff. I want a beer, and this bear isn’t leaving till this Banff Bar gets me one.”
The terrified, frightened woman says, “P-p-p-p-lease sir. My boss barkeep said we can’t give bears beers in this banff bar.”
The bear loses it…. grabs the cocktail waitress and tears her apart… ripping her limb from limb and eating her with reckless abandon. He turns around and stomps back to the bar.
Slamming his fist down, blood splashes everywhere, not the least from his mouth. He says, “GodDAMNIT barkeep. I am now a REALLY thirsty bear who wants a beer in this Banff bar.”
The barkeep looks at him, steely cold now, and says “We don’t serve bears on drugs, sir”.
The bear looks around, momentarily flustered and sort of taken aback. “B-b-b-ut I thought you didn’t serve bears beers.”
The barkeep says, “We don’t serve bears on drugs.”
The bear finally gives up, shrugging, beseeching the barkeep, “What in THE HELL are you talking about? I’m not on drugs.”
“What about that bar bitch you ate?”
ZING!